For many parents in Texas, child custody is one of the most difficult issues that their family may face in a divorce. Celebrating birthdays, holidays, and other family-oriented events are often very different for divorced couples with children. Custody arrangements related to divorce often require that each parent creates a schedule for alternating family time on these special days.
Some specialists in the field of family law and family research believe that this type of schedule can actually cause more harm than good—they believe that the feelings and wishes of the children involved should be considered more, and that the pressure of custody court orders on the children should be decreased.
Strict parent scheduling and other custody-related matters of divorce can diminish a child’s excitement for birthdays and other important family events. When these children feel pressured to stay with a parent based on the demands of a court order, it can cause unnecessary stress for the child—especially when the child does not want to stay with the parent.
This feeling of pressure, according to the children, often comes from the parents. Instead of fighting over court orders and who is supposed to have the child on a particular day, it is wise to step back and listen to what the child wants, in order to avoid feelings of negativity around holidays and birthdays. According to many children, this pressure often comes from the parents as well.
As parents in Texas, making holidays easier and more enjoyable for children is a matter of setting aside the demands of a child custody order, taking a step back, and listen to what the children want. In many cases, feelings of negativity and unhappiness around holidays and birthdays is the result of children feeling neglected or ignored by parents. Although children may share family time between two houses after a divorce, it does not excuse either parent from taking steps to create a happy, exciting, and loving family environment.
According to the specialist, parents should ask the children what would make them happy that day. Although it may be one parent’s designated day, that parent should support the child in seeing the other parent as well. In the event of a birthday, it’s great to remember whose special day it really is. Birthdays are a big deal to kids, and it’s important to think about how they will want those days remembered.
When dealing with child custody issues, it is always important to remember what matters most — the child. Although there may be some bitterness after a divorce, it is ideal to think of the child’s feelings first. Divorce can be difficult enough on a kid without added stress. Texas parents know that getting along with the other parent is crucial for their children’s emotional well-being. Hopefully more parents will be willing to step up and co-parent in a respectful way that is beneficial to everyone involved.