Readers of our Tarrant County family law blog know we regularly share articles we think might be useful to folks going through a divorce or considering a divorce somewhere down the road.
One such article we recently came across was by psychologist Allison Pescosolido, writing for the Huffington Post about common mistakes to avoid in divorce.
One of the most common mistakes, Pescosolido writes, is that people will often try to be close friends with their former spouses. She urges people to instead set up clear emotional boundaries with the ex, and to avoid intimacy with them after the divorce.
She said “trying to maintain a friendship will only lead to more heartache and pain.”
It’s better to realize you need time and space to heal the heartbreak.
Another common mistake people make is that they try to go it alone after a divorce. They want to prove to themselves, and perhaps to the world, that they can make it on their own, but in doing so they can cut themselves off from the critical emotional support available from friends and family who love them.
Plus, she said, it’s not a good idea to try to go it alone on legal matters either. Instead, enlist the help of a family law attorney who understands divorce, the courts and legal pitfalls to avoid.
Also on the list of common mistakes: rushing into decisions. Divorce creates a sense of newfound freedom, but just because a person no longer has to share decision-making doesn’t mean they should hurry to make big decisions on careers, homes, cars, etc.
Also, of course, try to avoid making hasty decisions on entering new romantic relationships in the aftermath of a divorce, she wrote.